pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize