If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
