My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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