You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
