I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
