was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
