How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
