just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
