So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
