it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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