Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
