they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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