I skipped work to stalk him.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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