Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
