She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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