After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
