So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
