My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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