My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
