Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
