i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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