Got a toothbrush?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
