my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
