the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
did i just pee glitter
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
