I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
