Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
