I wanna passion pit in your ass
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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