I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
