This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
