porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
