Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
