i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
