What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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