go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
