I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
