When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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