Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
