Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
