There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
