So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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