i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
