Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
what day is it and did you see me today?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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