My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
