I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
