i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
