But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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