Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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