Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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