Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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