I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
