yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
