Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
