she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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