And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
