oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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