Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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