you have to choose: penises or morals?
she smelled like a LAN party
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
