You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
